All things pregnancy...

We are going to be parents and could not be more excited!! I am a little behind on blogging, but I am now 15 weeks, 2 days pregnant!! We are thrilled and feel extremely blessed. I have wanted to get pregnant for a very long time. Pretty much since the day we got married I would ask Clay every day if we could have a baby and I would pray every day that we would be able to have a baby soon. I have always wanted to be a mother. Finally, around August I was able to talk Clay into it, with a little help from his Mission President. :)

Long story short, we ended up having a miscarriage right away in October. We had only known for a few days, but it was still very upsetting and difficult for me. I had so many negative thoughts, that I wouldn't be able to get pregnant again, that it would happen again, that I was "broken." It was the hardest thing we have ever been through and I feel for anyone who has gone through it or who is going through it. It's a pain you can't really explain. Clay was wonderful through it all. He was so reassuring and loving. We had to wait a little while to try again and it felt like FOREVER. That was a tough time for me.

Sure enough, around Christmas, I started having the same symptoms again. I had to pee all.the.time,  was extra hungry, and noticed other obvious changes. I wanted to wait to take the pregnancy test so I wouldn't get a false negative. However, I am super impatient and couldn't. So, I took a test about a week before I was supposed to start my period and it was negative. (PS Sorry if this is all TMI, I just want to document it all, maybe for posterity's sake, if so, they will probably think this is TMI, but oh well) I knew it was probably too early. I tried again on December 29th and it was positive! We were so excited, but also a little cautious not to get too excited. Clay's family was here for Christmas, but we decided to wait a while to tell everyone. I knew I was pregnant and it felt different than last time, but I was still so nervous. I took another test a few days later, you know, just to be "sure." It was positive, too!

       

I started getting so nervous to tell anyone. I was about 4 weeks when we found out and we didn't tell our family until I was almost 9 weeks. We had our first appointment on January 23rd at about 9 weeks, which seemed like an eternity to wait to make sure the baby was okay. They did a quick little mini ultrasound and we were able to see the heartbeat and our tiny baby (I called it our baby grape).

Sorry for the low quality phone pics!

We were so excited and it felt a lot more real at that point, once we could see that everything looked normal. We had our next appointment 4 weeks later, at almost 13 weeks and we were able to hear the heartbeat again! We decided to wait until after our second appointment to announce it. I got so nervous to tell everyone. I felt like it would jinx it or something. 

The first trimester was rough. I really thought I would be one of those people that didn't get sick. I was wrong. Poor Clay. Pretty much from weeks 6-13, I was useless. I had no energy to clean or leave the apartment really. There was NO WAY I could even walk in the kitchen or be around food. When Clay would make something in the kitchen, I would have to sit in our room either sniffing peppermint oil or holding the blanket over my nose and face. I was less sick if I ate, but it was hard to find anything I wanted to eat or thought I could stomach. It was all-day nausea, tiredness, headaches, and then sometimes actually throwing up. Throwing up is my least favorite thing. I cry every time. I know this is very normal, but it didn't make it any easier! I am thankful Clay was so supportive and helpful. He was perfect. I was also glad to be experiencing "normal" symptoms of pregnancy. It was very reassuring that everything was on the right track this time. 

Now that the first trimester is over, I am feeling so much better! I am so happy to be pregnant and be carrying a healthy baby! We feel so blessed to have been able to get pregnant again right away. At first, I really struggled having faith that this pregnancy would work out. I would worry and count down the days until I could check another week off the calendar. I kind of had an epiphany the other day in church. I was thinking about faith and how Heavenly Father knows me so well and He knows what I can handle and that what I can't handle on my own, I have a loving Savior Who will always help me through it. I decided to lay this pregnancy in His hands and to trust that whatever is supposed to happen will happen and that He will always be there to help us no matter what happens. That night, I heard the CES Fireside by Elder Bednar and it was exactly what I had been thinking about that Sunday. You have to have complete trust and faith in the Lord, not just faith that He will make the outcome what you want, but that He will make the outcome what you need and that He will never leave you alone. When I realized that, I wasn't scared anymore. 

I am not sure how I am going to do pregnancy updates on here. I would like to do weekly updates, but we'll see how that goes! This week we went to Florida to visit Clay's family for his Spring Break. We got back earlier today and I feel like my tummy grew so much in just that week! I can't wait to feel the baby kick and to be fully showing, not just looking pudgy! :)

We find out the gender this Wednesday and we can't wait to find out!! I really want a girl, but I think it is probably a boy! We'll see!! I will be happy either way, as long as we have a healthy baby!

I'll keep you updated!